His Kind of Beautiful (Carlisi Familia Book 2) Read online

  Leona wanted to argue, to scream at him that perhaps that was exactly who she was, and despite whatever he might think, she was as broken and lost as she seemed. But she didn’t. She simply sat quietly, waiting for him to finish getting the towels from the shelf and placing them in a tumble dryer under the cabinet beside the sink she hadn’t noticed.

  Tony walked over to her and dropped down so he could look her in the eye. “Right, let’s get you out of those pajamas and into the shower.”

  Leona balked, trying to remember the last time she’d had a shower, and was immediately horrified at how hard it was to remember when that had been. “I can do it myself. I don’t need you to help me.”

  Tony grinned at her, and the boyish nature of it surprised her. “See, now here’s the thing, bellezza mia, you might not need me to help you, but I find that I need it very much. Trust me. Let’s get you outta these clothes and into the shower. Once I know you can stand by yourself and that you’ll be okay in the shower, I’ll leave you to it. I promise.” His voice was beguiling and warm, and Leona found herself allowing him to gently tug her up to stand on her own two feet.

  She groaned as her back and legs protested the move, and she gasped when Tony dropped to his knees before her, running his hands down the muscles in her lower back, hips, and thighs.

  “Yeah, you’re tight as a drum all through here, Lee.” He continued to caress and rub the ache out of her legs until she was able to stand completely upright. Mostly. “The water is going to feel so good.”

  She inhaled as Tony slipped his hands into the waistband of her pajama pants and slid them off before she could stop him, taking her functional black panties with them.

  He stood, lifting the long-sleeve top up and off in a move so confident she found herself lifting her arms to make it easier for him. She was standing completely naked before him in a few short seconds and flinched when she heard his swift intake of breath.

  “I know,” she whispered, dropping her head so that her hair swept around her, hiding her face from his view. “It’s not a very pretty sight. The scars are nothing but a turn-off. I’m sorry.”

  She heard Tony exhale and watched as he lifted his hand to slide the side of his index finger under her chin to urge her face up. “Bellezza mia, you have nothing to apologize for. And I have to disagree. The sight I’m seeing is very, very, pretty.”

  Leona felt as if she were drowning in his gaze. “I am covered in scar tissue. Angelo took a knife to me and I—”

  She stopped when he shook his head, trembling as he swept his thumb across her lower lip. “No. He has no place in this moment, not between you and me, never between you and me. I see the scars, Lee, but to me they are beautiful. They are a badge of honor my woman wears that tells me that she survived. For me.” Leona watched in awe as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and he slid his hand down her arm, to take her hand. “And if you think what I’m looking at is a turn-off”—Tony pressed her hand to his cock, and her eyes widened at the impressive proof of his arousal—“the state of my dick should tell you that’s just bullshit.”

  Tony gently stepped back, keeping a hold of her hand and leading her to the shower. “Climb on in and take your time, baby. I’ll scope out the kitchen and see what I can rustle up for dinner.” He handed her into the massive tiled shower and Leona groaned at how good the hot water felt against her skin. “I love that sound you just made, bellezza mia, and I look forward to tasting it straight from your lips as I draw that groan of pleasure from you with the decadent things I plan to do to your body. When you’re finished, take one of the towels from the dryer. They’ll be soft and warm for you.”

  Leona stood there for a moment in complete shock as he walked out of the bathroom like he hadn’t just turned her world upside down. He’d seen her completely naked, and he’d liked what he saw, but what had her heart beating so fast she pressed the palm of her hand against her chest was the fact he called her his. His woman. Of course, she knew that was nothing but a pipe dream, something she was no longer capable of being, but hearing him say it definitely left its mark.

  The hope she tried to ignore unfurling within her was proof of that.

  ****

  Tony desperately wanted to punch someone, or in the very least something, but feared Leona would hear it and he would scare her. When he’d arrived at the house, he’d been thankful to see two of the family cars near the house. That at least meant Leona had been protected while she was here. When he’d come around the corner of the house toward the back when she didn’t respond to his knocking, he’d hesitated when he’d first laid eyes on her. He stood for a moment, looking at her in the late afternoon light, thinking how beautiful she looked sitting on the deck enjoying the solitude of the lake house.

  He frowned when he realized he’d been standing there for a long while, and she hadn’t moved. Tony walked quickly to the deck, taking the stairs two at a time, and went straight to her. He called her name twice, not wanting to scare her with his sudden appearance, but she didn’t respond. When he dropped to his knees in front of her, his heart broke. Her beautiful blue eyes were vacant, and she was just not there. He’d cursed when he felt how cold she was and had to stop himself from shaking her too hard, desperate for her to come back to him. Those moments before she registered he was there had been the longest of his life. He’d been so damn scared, even more so than the night Angelo took his father from him, and he’d had to say goodbye to his dad over the damn phone.

  He hadn’t been lying when he told her what he thought about her scars. She’d always been beautiful, but knowing how strong she was and seeing the scars that represented it made her even more so. Make no mistake, if he could go back and take his time with Angelo, he would. He would make Angelo pay for everything he’d done to Leona and more. He would’ve revisited the pain he wrought on her tenfold before Tony killed the bastard.

  Taking a deep breath and praying for the calm he desperately needed, he walked into the kitchen and began to pull things together to make something for her to eat. Leona had lost weight. A lot of it, and he intended to ensure she got every pound back and more. It was clear to him that she had been neglecting her health, not eating, and he wondered if she’d fallen into that strange vacantness before. Despite her weight loss, she was still gorgeous. There was no denying that, or his reaction to her.

  Even now, with nothing but the memory of how she looked standing naked before him, his cock thickened quickly behind the zipper of his trousers. With a shake of his head and cursing his lack of control when it came to his Leona, he reached down to adjust himself. He needed to stop thinking about her long enough to get dinner cooked and the table set. He wanted to impress her and standing here with a hard-on wasn’t going to do that. At least not yet.

  With a short laugh at his own stupid joke, he got busy. He was going to feed his woman, and the thought of it played to some deep-seated need he had to provide for her. He could see himself cooking for her a lot in the future and loving every minute of it. He just had to convince her to let him.

  Chapter Three

  “Wow. Who knew you could cook like that?” Leona pushed her plate away and sat back against the chair with a contented sigh.

  “Are you sure you can’t eat a little more, bellezza?” Tony asked gently.

  Leona shot him a shy smile. “No, honestly, I’m stuffed. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. I think that’s the most I’ve eaten in—well, since that night.”

  Tony sighed, sitting back in his own chair, cradling the glass of red wine in his hand, and leveled his gaze at her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Leona tensed. “Why?” She didn’t bother pretending she didn’t know what Tony was talking about.

  “Because you need to talk to someone. Marissa told me you refused to speak to that counselor Gavriil sent to you.”

  Leona stood up so abruptly from the table, the chair she was sitting on rocked backward. “What else have you all been sayin
g about me behind my back?” She threw her arms in the air. “What a stupid question, huh? You don’t need to say it behind my back because you’re quite capable of saying it in front of me. You all think I’m fucked-up and beyond help.”

  Tony stood up, too, throwing his napkin down on the table. “Damn it, Leona, that’s the second time you’ve said that, and I still have no fucking clue what you are talking about. When? When did we say you were fucked-up and beyond help?”

  “That night at Gavriil’s house, when Angelo—when you—when he.”

  “The night I snapped that bastard’s neck,” Tony snarled. “Yeah, I remember that night vividly. You were covered in blood and that piece of shit had a gun to your fucking head. I remember every little thing about that moment. But what I do not remember saying is that you were fucked-up!”

  “Gavriil did!” Leona knew she was screaming now, but she couldn’t stop. “He told you what you had done was righteous, and he said Leona was fucked-up. Those words exactly. And that he had no idea how to fix it. To fix me!”

  Tony frowned for a moment then groaned, his eyes closing for a moment. “Fuck, Leona. You were half out of your mind with fear! You heard it wrong. I was on my knees, holding you, telling you it was going to be okay, and Gavriil said he had fucked up with you and he had no idea how to fix what he had done.”

  Leona jolted back. No, that couldn’t be right. She was on the outside of the family, always on the outside.

  “It doesn’t make sense what you’re saying. Gavriil never really cared about what happened to me. Hell, I was only ever someone who worked for the Carlisi family. Never a part of it, right?”

  She turned and moved toward the living room, but she didn’t get very far. For a big man, Tony moved fast and silently. She’d only taken three steps away from the table before he was standing right in front of her.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it.” The anger in his tone matched the fire flashing in his eyes. “Sofia and John only ever treated you like family. They treat all of us like family.”

  “True, it was the one they consider their son that treated me like the whore I am!”

  Leona inhaled sharply, and shock slammed through her. What the hell had she said? That wasn’t what she was feeling, was it? She’d been the one to go to Gavriil with the idea of using Angelo’s apparent attraction to her to their advantage. Something in her expression must have clued Tony into her plan to run, and he pulled her into his arms.

  “No, no!” She struggled against him, desperate to get away from him, to get away. “Please, let me go, just let me go!”

  But Tony didn’t do as she asked. In fact, he seemed to hold her tighter. When her legs gave out beneath her, he simply dropped to the floor with her, pulling her onto his lap. The storm of emotion that had been brewing within her from the moment Angelo turned on her that night broke free. She sobbed, cried, and screamed her pain to the world at large. All her emotions, all her fears, her pain, her rage, everything bottled within her let loose and she was helpless to hold it back any longer. She’d been so scared. The pain had been the likes of which she had never experienced before, but what shamed her the most was that she’d wanted to die. She’d asked to die, she’d begged for them to kill her, anything to release her from the pain. But they hadn’t.

  When she finally emptied enough of the emotional storm within her, she became more aware of her surroundings. Tony was trembling as he held her, his arms still locked around her tight, but she could feel the small tremors that shook his strong frame. She could feel the wetness of his tears against her skin where his face was buried against her neck. That was shocking, for sure, but it was the words he whispered over and over that had her heart swelling within her.

  “I won’t let you go, bellezza mia, I can’t. I love you too damn much. Shhh, baby, please. I love you. I love you.”

  Leona pushed against his chest, needing to look into his eyes. When he pulled back enough for her to do just that, tears threatened again. His expression was … ravaged. Tony was known for his poker face, his icy façade that kept anyone and everyone from knowing what he was thinking. But at this moment, bearing witness to her breakdown, his expression was completely open. Never before had she seen a man look so vulnerable.

  “Tony,” she whispered, her voice rough from her emotional outburst. She lifted a shaking hand to cup the side of his face. “Stop, you have to stop.”

  “Stop what, Lee?” Tony asked, pressing his own hand against hers, holding it against his cheek. “Stop holding you? Stop loving you? I’m not sure I can do that.”

  Leona took a shaky breath. “I’m not sure I’m asking you to, but … maybe I should.”

  Tony sighed as he leaned forward to place his forehead against hers. “Leona, you have to know how I feel about you. Hell, how I’ve always felt about you. I’ve been in love with you for so long, I don’t know any other way to be.”

  She reached up with her other hand so that she held his handsome face. “How can that be? You know who I am, where I’ve come from. What I have done. How can you love someone who sold her body to others? Who took money for sex?”

  The heat of shame swept across her face, and she dropped her hands, suddenly sure she was not worthy to be touching him so intimately.

  “Don’t,” Tony practically growled, tightening his arms around her. “Don’t you dare feel ashamed for what you had to do to survive. You think I don’t know you did what you did because you had to? I was just thankful that you found Marissa.”

  She huffed a short laugh. “It would be more accurate to say she found me.” Leona had been working the streets since she’d left her mother and her bastard stepfather who thought he was well within his rights to touch her when she was only seventeen years old. Marissa had found her when she was flirting with the edge of a serious drug addiction there was no coming back from.

  “I wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for her.”

  She smiled when Tony pressed a kiss to her forehead. “And I will be forever grateful to her for that. I remember the day two years ago when I first saw you in the club. You shone like a star, and I thought I’d be blinded by your beauty.”

  Everything in her turned to ice. “Yeah, well, not anymore. I’m more ugly duckling than swan now.”

  Tony sighed, then with a truly magnificent display of pure strength, he lifted her higher into his arms, moved onto his knees, and stood with her in his arms before starting back toward the master bedroom again. “You know what, bellezza? Soon, and I pray to every deity known to man that it will be very soon, I am going to show you just how beautiful I think you are by worshiping your body with my own. And let me tell you this, as soon as I know you can handle that, and me, every time you talk about yourself like that I’m going to turn you over my knee and spank your pretty ass red.”

  Leona’s jaw dropped. “You’d spank me?”

  Tony shot her a look. “Hell yeah! With pleasure. I would never really hurt you, but I can make it feel so good your body will come to crave the heat of my palm against your skin.”

  Leona felt her body temperature rise sharply, all of it sitting low in her belly as heat and moisture pooled between her legs. She hadn’t thought she’d ever feel arousal again and had considered herself broken in more ways than one. With just a few words, Tony had her breathing heavier, her body softening, readying itself for him.

  He must have seen something on her face giving that fact away because his smile turned wicked. “I think my woman likes the idea of that. I can’t wait to find out how much.”

  Leona poked her tongue out at him quickly even as her face exploded with heat, then she buried her face against his neck. She felt and heard him chuckle and grinned, loving the sound of it. She’d never allowed anyone to spank her before, and had a few men in her past who liked to feel the sting of her palm against their own ass, but she had a feeling she’d love it with Tony.

  She was still smiling when he set her on the large bed, helping her shuffle back
so that she was seated against the backboard. Then he leaned down with his hands on either side of her hips. “I love that smile you’re wearing, baby. Makes me happy.”

  Leona giggled when he pressed a sweet kiss to the tip of her nose then sat close to her hip. His expression turned serious.

  “Do you think you can ever get to a place where you feel safe enough with me to share what happened that night?” His tone was gentle and there was no demand there at all.

  Leona held his gaze for a long moment, gathering her scattered thoughts. “I do trust you, Tony. More than anyone I’ve met. I can tell you about that night, but I need something from you first.”

  Tony smiled at her, melting her heart just that little bit more. “Anything.”

  “Will you make love to me first?” Leona blurted it out before she lost the nerve to ask. “I want to feel something good before I go back there. Something real.” She could see from the expression on his handsome face that Tony was going to say no. Not because he didn’t want her, she was fairly confident in that, but because he probably didn’t think she was ready.

  “Please.”

  Chapter Four

  “Please.”

  All the good intentions he had, the reasons for not wanting to rush her into anything more intimate or emotional than what they had already been through tonight, crumbled down around him. He was just a man, sitting in front of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Saying no to her was not something he was going to find easy.

  He lifted his hand to palm the back of her neck, gently pulling her closer to him, not stopping until he could feel her breath against his lips, locking his gaze to hers. “Are you sure, Lee? I want you, don’t ever for one second think that I don’t. But is this what you really want?”

  Leona smiled, her expression shy, and warm, but not hesitant at all. “Tony, I know I turned you down a lot over the years, but I thought that was what was best for you. But now, I see that all I was doing was pushing away the best thing in my life. Do I really want this? Hell yes. Now stop stalling and get to the loving.”